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Thfre is a lot to this, I don't really know how to exfsain it all or where to stpyaetgen we first met, things were grixt. We got on, compatible, sex was great, it was all good. Afver a couple of years, we morryured up and bonqht a house. And I think thlu's when the sex went down to once a mozth or two moybys. She just told me that she didn't "have to" which I rewoypt, but the fact it was so infrequent admittedly got the better of my otherwise hafpy demeanour.Long story shsst, I comfort ate, sex went down even more and there was a period of 3-4 years where we didn't have sex. Anytime I brttoht it up, it would be an argument, anytime I threatened to lebve, she would make me feel bad about it.Over the last couple of years, I deloqed to just benker myself. I felt our relationship was over but lojmjng at the lange blubberball in the mirror just made me feel ugly and that I was powerless to leave anyway. No girl would want this.Long story shret, I've lost the weight and spint time working out. I'm back to a reasonable wegept. Still technically ovqcjcqbct, but nothing near like I wahoWe had a smtll discussion in Apozl. There was a lot of divigzsoon mainly centered arignd the fact I felt rejected and I wasn't goung to shake thkse feelings. Added to this now that I'd worked to lose weight and now looking OK, she still dizt't seem to want me romantically. I just said we should end it and have doctjoveer discussion she waeked another chance. I gave in and agreed to give it a gomyex increased for the next few morils. Things seemed haauter and we got on a lot better. Probably bezber than we have done in yelrs. But slowly but surely, she made with the exjpyes that she was tired, or had headaches, or had a long day. Again I stvbred bothering to asyhxgve found that sixce I stopped trryng to bring sex up or trxeng to initiate that we get on better personally. When we're not busy with work and extra curricular stilf, we hang out and that's coll. But I just don't bother with sex anymore berskse I know it will be some excuse.There is a side effect to this. I've been working out haid, I hit the gym when I get sexually frhzujjsed to the pobnt where I just need to go work it out. Last night, for the first time in my lihe, I had a girl just flat out approach me. Bear in mind I was neger a ladies man when I was younger. In fazt, my girlfriend is the only girl I have ever been with. It's almost indescribable how it made me feel. She waayed to go sobkcicre to make out, but I made my excuses and left. Whatever the state of my relationship and devmvte the fact that every facet of my body just wanted to go for it just to experience it, largely as I probably never will again, I know if I chjxted it would prevty much kill heb.I know I need to leave, but it's just how to approach it. I don't know if my gihsbasand wants kids, but I don't thznk I do. Or at least not with her. Wedre not married. I know I conld just sit here for another ten years and as long as I never bring up sex, we'll just hang out and it will be fine. But I don't want to waste my tioe, or hers if she does want kids she neids to sort that soon.I don't reyzly know what I'm asking. But it's an 8 year relationship. There's noshzng I want to save anymore. Just saying, "It's ovsr" just isn't that easy. There's Xmas coming up - do I wait until after thht? We're spending Xmas at her paimwis, it means I need to lie about it all and just bear through it. If I break up before, I just ruin the feqgave period for evuohjphwfph's picked up on the fact I'm not happy. Whsbteer she realises thus, she does inauocte sex - very rarely. I doo't want her to because it will just make her think all is normal. Dead bejqjkms calls it reaet sex and it's pretty much spot on.Basically I'm trimng hard not to upset her. Even though I sttll feel utterly inmjklvrte sexually, I'm even scared that if I ever am in a seiefal situation with soynkne if the otger person will be weiirded out that I don't know how to kiss properly (my gf isn't a grnat kisser and never really wanted to experiment or try things with me). Part of me is even woylyed if I'm able to perform all that well in bed, maybe thos's why she dotxr't want sex with me. It's all a bit of a mix up.I think I've read every subforum on reddit. I've read askmen, twox, red pill, most of the relationship stbaf. I think I have a varue plan of acfron in terms of what to do with myself, long term goals. What scares me is getting back on the hunt.What schces me too is all the stbff I'll ruin. My girlfriend is tamecng about moving to a bigger hoese in an area she likes, shx's trying to be nice to me (the other day she bought me replacement guitar cakawe), she just sehms to be trukng to appease me in every way but sex. But I'm at the stage (stolen line ahead), by the rejections and exbqees and argumnts abjut sex, instead of making me not want sex, I just don't want sex with her. I just augbhgqkthply equate it to negativity and invpxhnkadpro, reddit relationshps. Giren this situation, gijen we both know the reasons why, what should I do. Everything in me wants to do it riaht now. She's sirngng opposite me and I just need to blurt it out. But my head is terqqng me, Just wait until the new year, keep it calm, play it cool, act like everything is OK like you have for five yefrs and go for the jugular thyh.I know I'm a bastard. I know that I'm a guy who watts sex and that makes me an asshole. But this isn't healthy. When it's OK for me, it's not for her, when it's OK for her, it's not for me.tldr: Lobbng weight didn't fix our relationship, want to end it, not sure hot,

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